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26th Apr 2015 16:55 - 9 years ago
Description : this is a track that planetjazzbass put up. an ode to the old school hip hop flows and beats that we used to hear. there's room for one more verse if anyone wants to get on it. any feedback would be awesome as well.

Comments (5)

If you have time take a listen and give wordybum some feedback.

BeatMaker4real
BeatMaker4real 23rd Jul 2015 04:50 - 9 years ago
Hot track, and two wicked flows..great work
StaticNomad
StaticNomad 30th Apr 2015 00:29 - 9 years ago
Yo again.

Thanks for the reply. Good to see PlanetJazz has come back and will take your vocals and even send you the audio tracks to do your own version.

"i didn't know if the words would sound right over the track because of those very aggressive stabs throughout the verses."

Yeah, that's kind of what I was getting at. They're good stabs but interfere quite a bit with the vocals. So, maybe the timing of the stabs can be redone by PlanetJazz to fall more inbetween the vocal lines. Or maybe they could be removed entirely from teh verses. Just the bass and drums should be fine to accompany the vocals. Then the stabs will be more exciting when they return as a break from the vocal. Just my little idea for PlanetJazz, in case he reads this.

I look forward to seeng what the two of you end up with as I feel there's definite room for improvement.

Good work, all the same.
Planetjazzbass
Planetjazzbass 28th Apr 2015 01:29 - 9 years ago
Hey wordy,great flow man!...I dig the expressiveness of your voice and the articulation,great sense of timing to!...I think the best result track wise will be achieved if you send me your whole vocal track by itself,and I mean the whole track length from 000 till the end,so it will register perfectly as a separate track into the existing arrangement (also Bonez's if he adds a verse) and I'll incorporate them into the mix,preferable dry with no effects (I'll add those) I'll also send you all the separate elements of the tune so you can do your own remix as well...great stuff man,you've got that old school vibe nailed down tight!
contact me at planetjazzbass@gmail.com
wordybum
wordybum replied 28th Apr 2015 - 9 years ago
Thanks, man! i appreciate the kind words and the respect. it would never have been a track without your vision. i will definitely send the dry vocals to you via email for a mix. i think since this is your baby i will leave it in your hands to work on. however... i'd love the Bass track by itself. Being a bass player myself i can hear SOOOO many gems in there that i'd love to sample you here and there in some tracks.

again, thanks so much for letting me be a part of this. i will send the dry vox this week.
StaticNomad
StaticNomad 26th Apr 2015 20:39 - 9 years ago
Hi Wordy.

I've already commented on the original version of this track in quite a bit of detail so I won't bother again here.

I think your added vocals are, predictably, good. However, there's a big overall problem: the mix is now just too busy.

So, if the top layer of synths could be partially/mostly removed as you're rapping, things would be a lot cleaner. Your vocals get in the way of the nice jazzy bass guitar runs. Not a criticism of you and I understand that you don't have the separate stems to mix - just the one MP3 file of the whole mix.

Second half you've left without vocals so it would be fine to get rid of the top layer of synths in the first minute (as you're rapping) as that stuff gets heard later anyway.

1:12 when you take a bit of a vocal break the other elements can be heard more comfortably again.

I guess the only options are either PlanetJazz sending you the separate elements to mix or you sending him your vocals to incorporate.

Good luck.
wordybum
wordybum replied 27th Apr 2015 - 9 years ago
As always, thanks for the positive feedback on my style and wordplay. i was thinking of sending PlanetJazz the dry vocals and let him have fun with it. i'm waiting for him to log in and give it a listen. we'll see what he thinks and go from there.

this was a weird one for me. i didn't know if the words would sound right over the track because of those very aggressive stabs throughout the verses. i felt like i had to hit them in unison with the beat, but overall i like the old school feel to it and the specific slang that not too many people outside of my circle of peoples would understand.
JoeyBonezSD1
JoeyBonezSD1 26th Apr 2015 17:25 - 9 years ago
im down!!could shoot you a rough by 2morrow!
wordybum
wordybum replied 26th Apr 2015 - 9 years ago
Done. i'll get it finished up by mid week. glad you liked it :)

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