For the most part, I'll be echoing what others have mentioned already. I love the lyrics and the message, and the beat is excellent too, though you should keep working on your flow. In addition the vocals also sound very raw.

One thing I would add as a suggestion is to incorporate more interesting vocal rhythms in your songs to keep the listener engaged. Like moving faster at some points or maybe even switching up to 3/4 time. Get creative with it to add something intriguing.

Great work, and keep at it!

-Sheen

Great message overall. Anything that could be said has been said already, keep it up!

Yo... I'm digging it. Keep working on your flow a bit, but the lyrics are dope, and the message is great. Kinda reminds me of old school rap...like Ice Cube. Nicely done man.

I like the lyrics. i think the vocal timing needs some nudging around to find the rhythm pocket. the pocket in the piano part is great. I would like to hear the vocal timing more connected to that sample timing-wise. break at 2:18 is what's up. the space opens up the track and i can really hear the potential. :D

gegfasfdawf

Yeah man, i can dig where youre goin with this track..the lyrics are strong man..keep it up.
Peace
Dj Swindla

very goods

good job

This has the properties of being a good track, first the vocals are off the beat,and doesn't sound like much processing has been done to them...Me personally would also pay more attention to the low end of the instrumental clashing with the low end of your vocals..

The beat is nice.

great track you got,the concept is a good message but the only downside in my opinion is that the vocals seem abit out of time with the instrumental in certain parts it sounds like you're out of sync with the 4/4 count ,but dont let that discourage you ,you're on the right track keep it up