Description : An original I just wrote. Need help perfecting and producing it properly as well. I have the stems. Help welcomed!
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Comments (10)
If you have time take a listen and give WithoutMyArmor some feedback.
I agree with most others seem to be saying. Not a ton needs to be improved. However, I could probably make a few adjustments if you want, and i'm definitely up for producing some songs for you. No pressure, just let me know if you want me to give it a shot :)
Brilliant, I loved the structure. cut the g-solo by half the second part is cloying but the first part is great. add some percussion and a little more on the bottom and we will clean up those pianos to shimmer a little more and you will have perfection!
Cru
Definitely want to add some percussion and I'm going to cut out the Bass guitar solo as well. It's too muddy to make out, I left it in this cut because I wasn't sure where to go with the bridge yet in the song. And for the pianos do you suggest a tighter EQ? Like cutting off so more low hz or how should I clean them up!
Great job.
Killer "hook" that compliments your stellar vocals.
What's missing? I didn't hear a definitive bass line, and imho a song like
this needs one (nothing showy, just something to bottom this out). I also agree with VirginiaSlimm on supporting vocals. They need to swell with you at the 1:30 mark of the song. I'd suggest "ghost" vocals, almost in a whispery, far off sounding way, and in a slightly different melody than what you are lead singing on the chorus/hook. Again, nothing overbearing, just in and out at certain points in the tune.
You may want to check out a prolific drummer on here by the name of laurentwirz. I think he may have something to fit this song. Link to his drum loops page: https://www.looperman.com/users/loops/2054129
Your guitar solo is another fave for me, but especially the melancholy cello? Viola?
This is stream worthy music, and I fully expect to see you snagging awards sometime in the future.
Thanks for the feedback! I'll try adding those and defining the bass line better as well. I used a bass but I found some clash between the background synth and the bass notes so i probably turned down my bass too much! A better EQ on it would probably help too!
And the Ghost vocals I can definitely do. I'm planning on revamping the entire vocals now that I have a better understanding of the direction of the track.
donno what the hell could be the 'help' here...this is a stunning track in every level, maybe the only thing what I miss is the drums...good luck on your way because your voice and music needs to be known to the whole wide world...
Hey dude. I love your track. One of the best I've heard on looperman
Although it's not really my genre. I would love to work with you if you want to branch out to a more pop based genre. Your so good man you could really make a popular song if you had the right producer. thanks>
I like this song, it's awesome. I would like to hear a background shout for "I don't wanna waste" at :59
It seems like a good place to start building up supporting vocals that would really push the chorus at 1:12 like a mf. Doing that will also make the 2nd verse sound more intimate when you could drop out the backing vocals at 1:48.
Good bracing on "trials and errors" with backing vocs.
You did a nice job breaking the track back down for the outro.
If you want another voice for it let me know! I'd have a 2-3 day turnaround probably.
Damn good song.
Instant fav. So much going for you in this track. :) Not a whole lot needs improving on, although I do agree that the buildup around 1:12 is begging for some kind of fitting percussion. (But it would have to be the right one so as not to take away from the emotional feel of the track.)
Overall, such a great track. Already can't get it out of my head. ;)
I checked some of your work out and I'll be responding to your email probably later this evening. Really glad you enjoyed the track. I'll probably try to get these stems uploaded somewhere so I can share them. Thank you!
Ok I'm going to be honest, I don't think you need any help perfecting this. It stands pretty tough on its own. The only thing I hear after the pre-chorus after the second verse is a classical string arrangement to help accompany the guitars with a light sustain during the guitar solo. I believe this song deserves the right attention, this song could be playing in films and could really make an impact musically. I've heard your acapellas all throughout the Loop. I believe I may have downloaded one of them but never worked on it. After hearing this, I might have to look into doing that. I think you have a quality in your voice and your songwriting that should be amplied among the masses. I'm going to be listening to your other songs too. Excellent job!
Wow thank you very much for your feedback. It makes me very happy to know people appreciate my work! I'll try adding in a string arrangement in the second verse and for the guitar solo background. And I plan on adding more tracks and a capellas as time goes on!
I just listened to your track, and I'm speechless. It sounds wonderful, you did amazing with the guitars and strings and vocals and solo and basically everything. This is really a pearl in between all the Looperman tracks.
Couple of tips to help you further: I think that some percussion would do this track good, or just more rhythm overall. Don't forget to vary a bit in your melodies / rhythm / chords to distinguish one part from the other, and give it more energy.
I love this track man! Keep it up! Can't wait to hear the finalized product, if you're going to post it here as well :D
Thank you! I'm very glad you enjoyed it! And thank you for the tips, I'll try to find some fitting percussion and there are some more revisions I'd like to make. I'll try to add some more movement to distinguish the verses from the prechorus and chorus. I've yet to write a complete bridge but I feared the song was already quite long!
WMA
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Description : Long time lurker first time poster, pretty new to production n stuff, this is my first track in Ableton Live.
was going for a darkwave/synthwave sound, reminiscent of Justice, Carpenter Brut, Perturbator, ect.
Looking for some feed back, constructive criticisms or even just your thoughts if you liked it or not. This is just a rough cut on this current WIP, just the bones of it if you will.. If you have some cool title suggestions, would love to hear those too.
Thanks for listening.
-B
Cru
Thanks!
WMA
Killer "hook" that compliments your stellar vocals.
What's missing? I didn't hear a definitive bass line, and imho a song like
this needs one (nothing showy, just something to bottom this out). I also agree with VirginiaSlimm on supporting vocals. They need to swell with you at the 1:30 mark of the song. I'd suggest "ghost" vocals, almost in a whispery, far off sounding way, and in a slightly different melody than what you are lead singing on the chorus/hook. Again, nothing overbearing, just in and out at certain points in the tune.
You may want to check out a prolific drummer on here by the name of laurentwirz. I think he may have something to fit this song. Link to his drum loops page: https://www.looperman.com/users/loops/2054129
Your guitar solo is another fave for me, but especially the melancholy cello? Viola?
This is stream worthy music, and I fully expect to see you snagging awards sometime in the future.
And the Ghost vocals I can definitely do. I'm planning on revamping the entire vocals now that I have a better understanding of the direction of the track.
WMA
handshake, Danke
WMA
Although it's not really my genre. I would love to work with you if you want to branch out to a more pop based genre. Your so good man you could really make a popular song if you had the right producer. thanks>
I'm always open to collabs. And I do enjoy a good pop song. PM me with the track you think I'd fit on and we can possibly get something going!
WMA
It seems like a good place to start building up supporting vocals that would really push the chorus at 1:12 like a mf. Doing that will also make the 2nd verse sound more intimate when you could drop out the backing vocals at 1:48.
Good bracing on "trials and errors" with backing vocs.
You did a nice job breaking the track back down for the outro.
If you want another voice for it let me know! I'd have a 2-3 day turnaround probably.
Damn good song.
I definitely hear what you're saying. I'll try adding that in in my second revision and get it posted on here when I'm done!
WMA
Overall, such a great track. Already can't get it out of my head. ;)
I checked some of your work out and I'll be responding to your email probably later this evening. Really glad you enjoyed the track. I'll probably try to get these stems uploaded somewhere so I can share them. Thank you!
WMA
WMA
I just listened to your track, and I'm speechless. It sounds wonderful, you did amazing with the guitars and strings and vocals and solo and basically everything. This is really a pearl in between all the Looperman tracks.
Couple of tips to help you further: I think that some percussion would do this track good, or just more rhythm overall. Don't forget to vary a bit in your melodies / rhythm / chords to distinguish one part from the other, and give it more energy.
I love this track man! Keep it up! Can't wait to hear the finalized product, if you're going to post it here as well :D
WMA