Dude i dig this song, i like the beat,style, and the sound of it.

totally rocks, lucky you're onto something here. I like the matching of the beat and intonation, sort of a suddent twitch of desparation which adds intensity to the track, and I agree. Very nice production man,
peaces.

thanks for the insporational words

Yeah man- this is really nice. Alividlife gave you some really good tips, this is great but you can hear the vocals are off (sound quality wise), when compared to music... and you got a dope voice and should play your voice like an instrument. I can hear it in there and I think you're gonna do some really good stuff, and I'd be really interested in hearing this if you redo it and just flow! Impressed fam! Checkn more out

Nice.

I likey!!!!

Can I be brutally honest?
Wanna point to two things.. and I do not want you to think "I suck"
because it's quite the opposite.

Compressor on yer vox, or .. well notice how like when you are given full attention at the mid section? And how your voice get's obviously louder?
But if you look at your DAW, what do you use btw?, but how no volume changes are going up or down?

The bass in the initial track is really really prominent, as it should be in hip-hop, but that "sucks" the mids and highs slightly.. .. just ranting for a moment, I kinda trip why it doesn't work conversly.. It's kinda counter-intuitive in a way. Bass will suck mids, but treble won't. Anyway.. humn.. you got me thinking ...

I am a nerd lol..

But ok, on your vox, if you throw a compressor on there, you will be given a balanced line of volume within that take. So everytime you say somethin' and it doesn't sound as loud as the last syllable -- it will sound just as loud. Which is great. I think almost every pro track vocal needs good compression, with very few exceptions. (It would get compressed in mastering anyway)

Oops, forgot, IF YOU can, I would sidechain the mix to your vocal take. Sidechain is... it sounds complicated, but it is like someone is riding the fader for you and pulling down the mix ever soo slightly soo you sound out over the mix.
If I had your take of vocals, and I had the awesome mix from MplusT, I would sidechain, with a narrow bandwidth focused on the frequency range of your voice. I would probably put a really easy knee on that compressor and make it very subtle, but with the compressor on your voice, and the sidechain to the mix (NOT FROM-- very important) you would sound better I would think.... Dunno for sure lol...

But yeah..
Now I want to say something, and this is coming from an artist to an artist. So do not think I am talking trash.
Practice your lines sooo much, that you don't have to think. That it becomes like... this statement you would tell anyone. You could look someone in the eyes, and just spit it.
Because It "felt" a little like you were reading it.

There's almost a comparison to acting in a way. You gotta kinda put yourself in a mental state where nothing matters. NOTHING. Not even the beat lol. Seriously, I have seen rappers Become almost someone else in the studio I haunt when they really get down to the emotional level. All the little things of their reality are stripped away man. All they have is this ONE moment to prove they are worth a damn.

....

Little did they know they could go buy a good software and do the whole thing for free lol

You got something man, just keep at it.
Do not get discouraged.

Whoa Lucky! my bro, I dig this a lot! spoken word or rap, who cares this thing is so perfect for a interlude type track bro. Hold this for when you drop a mix tape or something, because its got a great message.

Excellent track, different and has heart.
Telling you bro, its only a matter of time for you, time and inevitable practice.

This is cool. The beat is hot, and I like your voice alot. It sounds different, and its unique for real u got talent.

Dude, whaaaa? Where did this come from? haha This is well done! You got something working here, keep this positive flow going. I like the music track as well. Nice collab!

Wayne

spken word and a lil of rap keepo it up bro like the break too keep it up

https://www.looperman.com/tracks/detail/83306

over all the track is hot
way to spit on a offset beat
checking out more

ish i like it man good job...