Vocals=Good.
Instrumental=Not so good.
You need some instruments that are recorded well and compliment your good voice. Even if you used the same Instrumental and let the notes ring for awhile instead of cutting off it would be a tremendous plus.
I hope you've recorded your vocals and keyboard on separate tracks, because your vocals are killer!
Just a suggestion. I'd love to hear how a Looperman producer would take your vocals and use them for a house/deep house track. You may want to upload a few acapellas or upload acapellas of some of the songs you have here.
Check out what some producers have done with Farisha's acapellas.
Songwriting isn't easy, but the sooner you start, the better you become over time, so be patient. I commend you for putting your work on here, but the strength of this track imho are your vocals. I agree with Wobbin, your voice is beautiful. It's the tone that's arresting and its quite distinct. These days what you've got is a big plus.
Now its time to pair your gift with the right backing music so that you can really shine.
The idea is there. But to be honest: its not more then a voice and an instrument. The instrumental is slightly clipping. Your(?) voice is actually quite beautiful. i am amazed by that! :)
My biggest advice would be to make a full instrumental which suites your voice but that could be the very reason for the collab. I am not sure. Its a bit empty and nude now.
Reminds me of that Susanne Vega song, Toms Diner. I will try and add some drums and maybe a guitar and bass. Will let you know if anything comes from it.
Very good song, a good song is one that stands up with just one instrument and vocals, and this one does. What direction do you see this song going in when you say "rock" and that you want to add guitar bass and drums. (what I guess i'm asking is what artist do you associate this song with the most)
Cru
Hmm. That's a good question. I was debating if it was more pop or alternative or what! I guess I'd associate it with the Killers meets Lana Del Rey if that makes any sense what-so-ever. I just want something that helps move the song away from its acoustic nature.
Would you be ok with me using part of this song as like a intro or a hook in one of my projects? I would not sell it or anything just for my personal use and to share .
Really nice melodies from you again...
It depends what would you like to hear...it could be a balladistic or groovy rock song, chill out or in my darkest dreams trance too...all stands on the instrumentation...
your vocals are great here. Maybe I might help you with this project, I have far too much music going on at the moment though... Anyway I agree with comments below and think you should just stay with the acoustic sound-image - so even more piano, some drums and strings or soft pads that in my opinion will 'amp up' this song. Again the vocals are super nice as is your piano playing.
I will send you a message. Alex
I think it sounds pretty damn amazing with just the piano. I didn't have much of a problem with the vocals. They fit the vibe of the song nicely. It could use a dubstep remix....but I love the piano as instrument so much that I think that might ruin it.
For me at least. Didn't see much wrong with it as a piece alone, it could fit for a transition into the dubstep remix next instead. As if it was a mix or part of a collection. An intro track.
But I really dig this though man, has a real somber chilled out mood. Great job, peace
Hi there AxelStPatience , EazyBeatz here :) just wanted to let you know you have my attention! I usually don't listen to projects with vocals but every now and then I tend check one or two out. I'm glad I pressed play on this one! N by the way, u are an amazing singer! Great job on this one. I also would like to ask if you wouldn't mind if i tried giving it a lil EazyBeatz flavor on this track. Would U let me?? if not its ok I'd understand . Take care, much love -EazyBeatz :)
This is really good :D I like the direction this is going. I could hear some orchestral instruments like strings, and distorted electric guitar behind the piano where it intensifies then lets you back down with nice soft singing and the piano alone, I'm also working with Danke's Black Roses loop, among a few others. :D
Overall, I agree with Evan to put some orchestration into the song...plus I imagine acoustic and bass guitars but I don't think distorted guitars could be a good choice...your voice and that instrument's tone are far away from each other...
The chorus is brilliant (I mean the piano)
What does your voice looks like when you sing harder?
Did you try it before?
I think a big part of that would be to put more emotion in your vocals. You sing like there is someone in the next room and you don't want them to hear you. Like you're being quiet.
It also sounded like your first vocal line kind of ascends, but the root notes of the piano do not. The word "Are" seems to go up, when it sounds like it shouldn't based on the piano. Same for each starting line of the stanzas.
What I think this track needs is some orchestral strings. Lots. That is what I was hearing more than guitars. The vocals never get hard or even very excited to be there. You have a good lyrical idea, the delivery is just lackadaisical.
"Please excuse the piano in the chorus"
I thought that part sounded good. A tone and key change.
That's just how I sing, I'm afraid. I feel like there's some kind of miscommunication about what it is you think I want for this song. The thing that drew me to the original piano loop was the certain degree of dissonance. The song itself is about dissonance in a world that doesn't understand. I just have a really solid idea in my head about the direction this needs to go, but thank you for your feedback.
on Black Hearted Girl by AxelStPatience
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on Only Lovers Left Alive by AxelStPatience
on King of Hearts by AxelStPatience
on Monster by AxelStPatience
on Black Hearted Girl by AxelStPatience
on Hickey by AxelStPatience
Instrumental=Not so good.
You need some instruments that are recorded well and compliment your good voice. Even if you used the same Instrumental and let the notes ring for awhile instead of cutting off it would be a tremendous plus.
Keep at it.
tv
on Hickey by AxelStPatience
Just a suggestion. I'd love to hear how a Looperman producer would take your vocals and use them for a house/deep house track. You may want to upload a few acapellas or upload acapellas of some of the songs you have here.
Check out what some producers have done with Farisha's acapellas.
Songwriting isn't easy, but the sooner you start, the better you become over time, so be patient. I commend you for putting your work on here, but the strength of this track imho are your vocals. I agree with Wobbin, your voice is beautiful. It's the tone that's arresting and its quite distinct. These days what you've got is a big plus.
Now its time to pair your gift with the right backing music so that you can really shine.
on Hickey by AxelStPatience
My biggest advice would be to make a full instrumental which suites your voice but that could be the very reason for the collab. I am not sure. Its a bit empty and nude now.
Keep it up man, I feel you!
- Wobbin
on Never Too Late by AxelStPatience
on Aubade by AxelStPatience
on Monster by AxelStPatience
I'll sit down with it and see if I can add a bassline.
Best thing I've heard from you.
on Monster by AxelStPatience
tv
on Monster by AxelStPatience
Cru
on Monster by AxelStPatience
on Aubade by AxelStPatience
Gord
on Never Too Late by AxelStPatience
on Never Too Late by AxelStPatience
It depends what would you like to hear...it could be a balladistic or groovy rock song, chill out or in my darkest dreams trance too...all stands on the instrumentation...
Respect, Danke
on Black Magic by AxelStPatience
I will send you a message. Alex
on Black Magic by AxelStPatience
For me at least. Didn't see much wrong with it as a piece alone, it could fit for a transition into the dubstep remix next instead. As if it was a mix or part of a collection. An intro track.
But I really dig this though man, has a real somber chilled out mood. Great job, peace
Gramo/Neo
on Black Magic by AxelStPatience
on Black Magic by AxelStPatience
I'm sure there will be a few that will jump on this...
Solid piece of work...
Peace...TG.
on Black Magic by AxelStPatience
on Black Magic by AxelStPatience
This could be a superb number...
Overall, I agree with Evan to put some orchestration into the song...plus I imagine acoustic and bass guitars but I don't think distorted guitars could be a good choice...your voice and that instrument's tone are far away from each other...
The chorus is brilliant (I mean the piano)
What does your voice looks like when you sing harder?
Did you try it before?
Respect, Danke
on Black Magic by AxelStPatience
I think a big part of that would be to put more emotion in your vocals. You sing like there is someone in the next room and you don't want them to hear you. Like you're being quiet.
It also sounded like your first vocal line kind of ascends, but the root notes of the piano do not. The word "Are" seems to go up, when it sounds like it shouldn't based on the piano. Same for each starting line of the stanzas.
What I think this track needs is some orchestral strings. Lots. That is what I was hearing more than guitars. The vocals never get hard or even very excited to be there. You have a good lyrical idea, the delivery is just lackadaisical.
"Please excuse the piano in the chorus"
I thought that part sounded good. A tone and key change.
Evan